It’s always easy to stay in your comfort zone. It feels safe — and comfortable.

Staying in your comfort zone related to work and career can look like not requesting or applying for an opportunity that will stretch or challenge you. Or it might look like tolerating something such as a toxic culture, or being undervalued.

Your relationship comfort zone might look like not reaching out to connect with someone for fear of rejection. It could mean staying in a relationship with someone who is chronically inconsiderate because you have become dependent on that person or cannot fathom ending the relationship. It could be feeling disappointment or unhappiness with someone over a long period of time, and staying quiet, because you don’t want to — or know how to — have a difficult conversation.

Your comfort zone might keep you staying in a location in spite of drawbacks, because you feel scared to make a change.

It may have been recommended, or you may have a desire to take care of your health in a particular way, and you’ve resisted. Or you may love the idea of trying something new and challenging, such as running a 5K or learning to play a new sport, and instead you sit it out because you don't want to try and fail.

You may have thought about learning something new, like playing an instrument, speaking a new language, or taking a course in a subject that fascinates you, but didn’t move forward because it felt daunting, or you did not want to change your routine to fit it in.

Routines and structures that are familiar feel comfortable. That can be fine in many cases.

And there are other cases where you pay a price for staying comfortable.

Always staying in your comfort zone is a trap

While you can draw on past experience when you stay in your comfort zone, when you always do things the same way in spite of feeling a desire for something new or different (or even having a solid reason to make a change), or you resist doing something you have been curious about or desired, your complacency takes a toll.

You miss out on a lot: growth, progress, possibilities, discoveries, expansion.

And your comfort zone — that can grow when you try new things, learn new things, dare to test and explore, open yourself to new experiences — will not have the opportunity to expand!

Choose one way to expand your comfort zone

Start by observing yourself today. What shows up that’s related to staying in your comfort zone?

Maybe you will notice that

• you are in a rut about your lunch routine

• you stay quiet when a part of you wants to speak up

• you feel excited about an idea and then talk yourself out of pursing it

• you shop for a blouse and pick a style or color that you always choose

• you spend your evening like you always do, even though it’s a bit boring

• you skipped taking a long bike ride with a friend and did extra work instead

When you have observed one or more ways you stayed comfortable or safe, choose one thing on your list to begin to strive to change.

I suggest you consider the least intimidating thing on your list, and make that small thing your focus for bringing a bit of change into your day tomorrow.

Don’t go for making a huge change all at once.

The idea is to start with stretching a little bit beyond your comfort zone at the start, so you can appreciate yourself for a successful effort.

Then take that farther, or bring another thing on your list into your focus for making a small change.

And celebrate yourself for each effort you make!

Remember that when you try something new and it does not go as you’d hoped, or it takes continued practice to achieve, you can make adjustments to your approach. You can get help. Or you can put that aside, try something else on your list, and come back to it.

In time you will be able to take on bolder efforts.

See what happens as you bring change to one way you have stayed in your comfort zone each week, and as you continue to do that for a while.

As you reap the benefits, you are sure to enjoy the process.

You are also likely to see that you will naturally feel good about taking on new things and making bigger changes. And your confidence and self-trust will grow.

That’s a wonderful way to live big! 

With love,

PS Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.

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Visit the Creators of Change page on my site

In these fraught times, it can be hard to know how to take action to preserve our democracy and human rights. There is a growing list of resources you can learn about and support. Check out the Creators of Change page